This time last year a wildness came over me. My body knew what was coming, but I didn't. The next day began what would be 68 hours labor. Painful, exhausting, contractions. The following Sunday evening baby Jack was born.
Sitting here tonight, remembering Jack's first year and also being 29 weeks pregnant, I can't believe he's days away from turning 1; and I can't believe that I'm about to do it all over again. Recounting the year, it was amazing, wonderful, challenging, and wonderful again. It was all about Jack.
The first few weeks postpartum are measured in seconds. Pat and I spent hours staring at Jack. I wanted to relish every thing about him, and yet on the other hand I asked myself, "is this what I'm supposed to do? Just look at him all day?" Time was arbitrary and morning bled into night. Our schedule was the baby's schedule. My entire focus collapsed so that all I thought about was right there in front of me. Nothing beyond our walls mattered, nor did I have the time or brain power to give it any consideration.
The next moment I remember is when Jack turned 11 weeks. This was the magical time when he slept through the night. After that, we would spend the next 3 months catching up on lost sleep.
Then we got married! ...and the next week we got pregnant again.
9 months... that is when something changed for us. Jack's personality came to life. He could crawl, feed himself, giggle. He even played little games like peek-a-boo and showed signs of being a shy guy in new company. Since then he has turned into this little guy who is so much fun. He walks, he babbles, he plays with toys. He's absolutely awesome.
At the same time, we've gotten a lot better at being parents. In the beginning, everything from changing his diaper to putting him in the car seat, and exiting the house was so hard. Pathetic as this may sound, we're simply better now at functioning with a baby. Things like going to the grocery store, hanging out with him and appeasing his desires are all easier.
In general, I think that Pat and I would say that the transition into parenthood was hard. And that's not because the baby isn't absolutely wonderful - it's because it's hard work to be a parent! Beyond that, as a couple and as individuals, we've had to carve a new role for ourselves as parents. It has been an amazing, incredible experience so far and we're both so grateful and so happy.
We celebrate Jack's first birthday this week. I cannot believe it has already been a year. Time has never gone by so quickly, and on top of that, every week that goes by I'm closer to having another little chicken in the house. Ready to do this all over again? :-)
