About Me

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Race Report: I am Ironman

I am an Ironman.

It's three days past Ironman Arizona. If it weren't for how sore my legs are, I might not believe that I actually completed what is known to be one of the most challenging endurance events in the world. In one day, athletes must complete a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and 26.2 mile run. Every course offers its own challenge. On November 21, 2010, Arizona offered chilly 61 degree water, 17 mpg headwinds and 30 mpg gusts, and 14 hours and 37 seconds of effort.

The day started at 3am when I woke up too excited to fall back asleep. My dad, brother, and his girlfriend were there ready to be my support crew. We headed over to the race at 5am. The morning of the event is pretty smooth compared to shorter distances because almost everything is setup in the days leading up to the event.

Abby Porter Ironman Arizona

I had already checked in, gotten body marked, racked my bike, and dropped off my transition bags.

Abby Porter Ironman Arizona bag setup

All I had to do was check for the essentials which for the bike are bike shoes, helmet, sunglasses, socks; and for the run: sneakers, socks, aquafor, hat. Otherwise, I dropped off my special needs bags, pumped up my bike tires, went to the bathroom, and had everything dialed in by 5:30am which gave me ample time to put on my wetsuit and go to the bathroom again.

The swim was a water start which meant that everyone had to jump into the water around 6:50am, swim up to the starting line, and tread water until the gun went off. Athletes lined up on the dock and jumped into the water like navy seals. My body was shaking and my teeth were chattering from the nerves but I had a huge smile on my face. The day had finally arrived.

The cold water, dim sky, and excitement from the athletes and fans was thrilling. From the water I could look up at the bridge overhead at the roaring fans. Athletes were jockeying for position along the starting line, careful not to line up too far upfront nor too far back. My heart rate was well over 110. The announcer roared - who's going to be an Ironman today!? And everyone in the crowd went bananas. Then he said - and let's hear it for your friends and family who support you and without them this wouldn't be possible. And everyone in the water roared back. Boom! The cannon went off and away we went.

My plan was to take it easy for the swim, stay calm, and just swim. With everyone starting at once it was more chaotic than any other tri I've done, although not intolerable. There was constant jostling and people bumping into each other. I was wary to not get kicked in the face or get my fingers broken. If there was a huge guy in front of me kicking like a maniac then I would take a stroke to the right or hang back for a second to get a better space. A few times the water opened up and I got into a nice rhythm.

For spotting purposes, the swim was 1600m out past the next bridge where there was a turn buoy and a little further coming back. The first turn buoy was crazy since everyone had to turn at the same place. Everyone was more upright and reaching out to move forward rather than horizontal and swimming. A couple meters past the buoy I accelerated to get out of the craziness. There was one more turn buoy and already I was heading back. It felt great to be half way done.

I did have one small snafu on the swim which was that my muscles in my right hand went numb, such that I couldn't cup my hand for my pull. I tried to squeeze my hand into a fist on my recovery stroke but it didn't help. It didn't bother me though. I was feeling strong and happy. Overall, the swim went by very quickly.

There were tons of volunteers ready to help people out of the water. I felt amphibian crawling up the steps to get out of the water - not quite ready to be upright. The shoot between the swim and T1 was packed with fans. I beamed up at my support crew, glanced up at my time, saw 1:18, and ran into T1.

Transition took forever. My hands were more numb then I thought and it took me a while to get my gear on. Coming out of T1 I was afraid that I wasn't going to have the coordination to click into my bike. Off I went though. My body was still pumping hard from the swim and already I was going 22 mph on the bike.

I ate a powerbar, downed half a gatorade, and went aero. I wasn't sure how hard I should push and I was constantly checking myself to make sure I wasn't pushing too hard or too little. The first loop went by quickly. Typically on the bike course it's slower on the way out and faster on the way back due to the small incline. But for race day, the wind was in our face on the way back and it grew stormier as the ride went on. By the last loop, it took me 1 hour to get out and 1.5 hours to get back. The report is that there were 30 mpg wind gusts and a steady 17 mph headwind.

About half way through the bike I started to feel a bit nauseous. I wasn't sure if it was because I was pushing too hard or if it was from the nasty gel I just ate. Regardless, a gal who was passing me saved me. She asked - how are you doing? My reply was - I think I'm starting to feel it. She said - don't fight the wind, it's not worth it. From there I decided she was right and I pulled back on my effort and just spun for the last loop. My goal was to flush out the toxins and get my head on straight for the run. I was starting to think, woa, this is hard. A fan on the side of the road held a sign that read: "it's not called an easy man," and I could second that.

The 6:58 hour bike ride felt more like a 3.5 hour ride, but not in the amount of effort and concentration that it took to pedal through it. For nutrition I had 2.5 chocolate powerbars, one hammer espresso gel, a banana (they cut them up into thirds), an apple gel (disgusting), 2 red gatorades, 2 ironman perform drinks (not good), 4 waters, and 1 pack of powerbar cola candies. Towards the end of the bike I couldn't take in any more syrupy stuff and the banana was all I could stomach. I knew I needed more calories but I decided to wait until the run where there would be real food.

Coming off the bike was like a check mark - check, that's done, on to the marathon. I took it slow again in transition but not because I could go any faster. The volunteers were amazingly helpful. The gal in the tent got everything ready for me, asked me if I needed this or that, and got me out the door.

I had finished my bike by 3:30pm which was within my goal time. My nausea had subsided and I was feeling pretty good as a started my run. I ran at a pace that I could sustain for the whole day. At the first station I ate a banana and a cookie thought, oh my gosh that tastes so good. A mile later I realized how hungry I was and I ate a banana, pretzels, grapes, a cookie, coke, and water. That food made me so happy. The next high point was seeing my fans at the end of the first loop. They were standing by the transition area among tons of screaming fans. Seeing them along with the excitement, the beautiful weather, and the fact that I felt good made me so happy.

Abby Porter Ironman Arizona

I was strong through the first 20 miles. I ran the whole way except through the aid stations where I carefully chose what to eat or drink to continue to fuel myself without overdoing it and throwing up. I saw Dary at mile 20 or 22 and said to him - I'm just trying to keep my shit together. He said - yea - keep your shit together. Every step you take you're getting closer to the finish line. For the next few miles I said over and over in my head - keep your shit together.

Those 4-6 miles were pretty damn hard. I was a little dizzy, feeling a little fricked up, my stomach was off, my legs were spent. I knew that if I let up on my concentration for even one second that I could pass out randomly. I would walk a couple hundred yards, then run three quarters of a mile, then walk for 50 yards, then run half a mile, then run through the aid stations instead of walking through them to keep momentum, then crash and walk for 30 yards, then shuffle forward. My run was only a hair faster than a walk. Somehow I made it back to last stretch and ran for the last mile and a half into the finish line. I thought about 55 times in my head, you did all three laps, right? The last thing I wanted to hear when coming into the finish was - Abigail Porter, you have one more lap! In the back of my head I knew I had completed all three, but I was in disbelief that I was almost done.

I rounded the corner into the finish, and people were shouting - you did it! You are an Ironman! I picked up my speed a little and straightened my back to not look so wasted crossing the line. I came into the finishing shoot and gave high fives to the fans. I thought I was going to be more emotional crossing the finish line but the moment was a little different than I had imagined it to be. The day was no longer something I was dreaming about anymore, it was real and I had put in the work to complete the it. I was happy and my mind was blank.

They have catchers standing there to make sure you don't fall over. My helper gave me a blanket and talked to me. She told me I had accomplished something really great and that it was amazing. She talked to me as if a doctor would to make sure I stayed conscious. I was so exhausted that I could only respond to her questions with one word answers. Her last question was, how long did you train for this? I responded, since January. As I walked out of the finishing shoot, that's when I cried. I cried for the sacrifice, for the year, for the journey.

I gave my brother and my dad a big hug, watched a couple of finishers, and held on to their arms to not fall over. We headed back to the hotel. I passed out while my team went to get me some food. We ate, talked about the event, and passed out.

Strangely I woke up again at 5:23am feeling rested, or at least better than I felt the night before. I was pretty run down though and had cold symptoms. It wasn't until Monday night that I got a really good night of sleep. Thank god for my support crew to help me do basic things. They got my bags, dropped off my bike for transport, got me coffee. I truly couldn't have gotten home without them. For Monday and Tuesday I couldn't walk up or down the stairs without the hand railing and sitting down and getting up was painfully impossible. Now, three days after the event I can walk up and down the stairs but my legs are wobbly.

The hardest part about the day was by far the amount of focus that it took to complete the event. I was constantly thinking about my pacing, what I was eating or drinking, about moving forward, talking myself through every step, and trying not to throw up or pass out. The nutrition is tough because I was a little sick throughout the entire day. Either nauseous or my stomach was off, or I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. The physical difficulty is obviously very hard - but it's not worth even thinking about it since at that point, I was already doing the race and I had put in the work to get me through it.

Most people have asked - how do I feel and will I do it again. The answer is - I've never been this sore in my life but I feel good. My muscles are wrecked from my skin all the way down to my bones. In order to do another Ironman I would want to get stronger on the bike and build more strength in my legs. This next year I want to do fun stuff like trail running, long power climbs like Kangamangus in NH, sprinting... generally more power output events to build muscle. Oh - and did I mention - I want to have fun :-) I'll probably do a 70.3 next summer and any other event that looks fun.

I would recommend doing an Ironman to anyone who is willing to put in the time to train for it. In my mind I feel more prepared for everything else that I want to do. It's like I've passed through to the other side and I'm ready to live my life.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

The One Thing

A couple of weeks ago I met up with a gal who was about to tackle Ironman Florida. As we rode through Harvard on that chilly October day, we talked about our training, the ups and downs, how excited we were to actually do our races, and she said to me - figure out what your "one thing is"... the one reason why you are doing an Ironman. When times get tough in your race, you need to remember what the one reason is that you are doing this race.

The thinking behind this statement is this:

During the course of your race day, expect your body to have a conversation with your mind:


“Look, Mind, you’ve had me out here slogging away for 132 miles. This is really starting to get old and very painful. You need to give me a good reason to keep going forward. If you don’t have one, I’m gonna slow down and you can’t stop me!”

Before the race ask yourself “Why am I doing Ironman?” Your goal here is to determine what is the One Thing that put you in this race. To finish in the daylight with a smile on your face? To run a 4:10? To honor your family or a loved one?

Whatever your One Thing is, be absolutely clear and rehearse your mind/body debate beforehand. Be warned: your body can be a helluva good negotiator at mile 18, especially if your mind hasn’t prepared its rebuttal arguments beforehand.

That same day was supposed to be my longest bike day. It was also the end of October and only high 30s in the early morning. I agreed to start a little later in the morning just to let it warm up a bit. With a couple of friends, we met up at 10am and took a nice ride through Harvard stopping at the General Store and again at a farm for some apple crisp. Despite the good company, nice scenery, and cool but sunny day, internally I was battling extreme burnout. By the time the group got back to our starting point it was already 2pm and I had only gone 40 miles on what was supposed to be a 90-100 mile bike day. A quick calculation told me that I wouldn't be done until 7pm if I finished the entire workout. As I rode off alone, the sun was getting lower such that it would be hard for cars to see me. I was jealous that the others were done and annoyed that I had to keep going. As I thought more and more about it, I got angrier and angrier. I pedaled over Strawberry Hill, took my right on Pope Road, and in just the time that it took me to reach Acton Road I was so pissed off that I was ready to explode.

My heart was pounding, my breath was heavy, and my mind was harried. I was so worked up that I could have had a temper tantrum right there on the side of the road. But, I was 30 miles away from home and it still would be faster for me to bike home then wait for someone to come pick me up. I didn't have much choice but to go on. So I thought to myself -

Am I cold? No.
Are my legs sore? No.
Is the weather ok? Yes.

If all of these things were ok, then I must go on. So I said to myself -

Think positive thoughts.
Think positive thoughts.
Think positive thoughts.
Think positive thoughts.
Think positive thoughts.
Think positive thoughts.
Think positive thoughts.
Think positive thoughts.

This went on for 5-10 minutes until my frenzy calmed, my breathing eased, and my angry thoughts subsided. I started to think positive thoughts.

I thought about blue skies and whispy clouds.
I thought about my life.
I thought about what would make me happy.
I thought about moving to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and hiking the pass with Zion every day.
I wondered what it would be like to drop everything that I'm doing... and start over.

I held on to these thoughts and I navigated wisely as the sun went sideways. I got back to my car safely and although I didn't complete the 90 miles that I was hoping for, I learned something about positive thinking.

For the past few weeks, I thought that my mantra would be "think positive thoughts, think positive thoughts, think positive thoughts." But those words don't really satisfy the question of - Why? Why did I choose to do an Ironman?

What is the one thing - the one reason why I chose to do an Ironman?

One year ago I moved back to Boston from my home in Colorado. When I came home, to the place where I grew up and where my old friends and family resign, I was happy to be among loved ones. But, I was also reeling from a recent break up and my mind and body was in despair. I wanted to be healthy, happy, and whole again. I knew that if I set a challenge for myself that was so difficult, so hard that I would have no choice but to make better decisions, to exercise, get out and meet new people, and explore my new world, that it would be my reason to regain myself, my independence, and my happiness.

In thinking about this, my training has become my right of passage. On race day, my pain will be transformed from etheral to physical. As the saying goes - I would rather have a broken bone than a broken heart. When I step up to the starting line on November 21st, my suffering will have come full circle.

So, what's the answer? Why did I choose to do an Ironman?

To regain myself, my independence, my strength. To heal my broken heart. To find myself.

I'm doing it for me.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Scrambled Eggs and Ironman Toast

My mind has been scrambled eggs for the past couple of weeks. My emotions were in flux, my body was tired, and my mental fortitude felt like it was giving way. I was coming into my final weeks of working out and the longest weekends of the year.

I started to have nightmares about the event, waking up in the middle of the night wondering if I have done enough. I thought back on the last couple of months to recap where I have been and to double check with myself on what I've been doing.

August was the finale of the Sprint racing season and Catherine and I battled it out at Gloucester. At the race, I came out of the water first but she caught me faster than I thought she would and we left the transition together. Our first few biking miles we were neck and neck but after the course turnaround she took me by more than 2 minutes off the bike. My goal was to keep an even pace and go a little faster than her on the run. I could see the gap between us closing on the second and third laps, but the final turn came sooner than I expected. As we rounded the bend we both laid it out flat to the line. The gap was too much once we both started sprinting and she beat me by 4 seconds. Kelsey Abbott took first, Cath took second, and I took third in our age group.

If you look closely, you can see me in my signature magenta tri suit to the right of Cath battling it out to close the gap:

Gloucester Sprint Triathlon 2010,Abby Porter,Catherine Toupence

Motivated to compete again with Kelsey and Cath I decided to sign up for Pumpkinman at the last minute. The water temperature was perfect but I could tell that I had been swimming at the BSC on my own more than I had been with Cambridge Masters. I held a nice pace for the bike and I took it easy for the run, finishing 50 minutes faster than my first 70.3 at 6:04 hrs. The most notable part of the event was that when I finished I had no lactic acid burn and my legs felt fine. My quads were sore for a couple of days, but I was happy about how I felt.

The next weekend I rode with the Rippers up in NH across our finest notches including Kinsman, Kangamangus, Bear, Crawford, and Franconia Notch. The ride was 100 miles, 8000 feet of vertical, and a can of whoop ass. I bonked at 80 miles on Crawford Notch but I finished the ride with everyone else and read 100 miles on my odometer. The next few weekends were followed by long rides up to Harvard of 70 and 80 miles on Saturday and long runs on Sunday. On Oct 9th I rode for 83 miles and ran a PR 1/2 marathon the next day, dropping my 13.1 time by 11 minutes to 1:56. Those back to back long weekends fried my legs and it took a good week to recover. But, I didn't have the time. The next Saturday I ran 15 miles (1:20 run, 1:15 ride, 1:20 run) and rode 45 miles the next day. By this point, I bonked mentally and emotionally. With my biggest scheduled weekend to come and only 5 weeks out from the event, I was mentally and emotionally overwhelmed, exhausted, and done.

I went on an apple pie bender and made at least 12 pies in the course of a couple of weeks. Look closely to see the bike:

Ripper Pie

I realized that in 9 months I hadn't rested for one day. The days that I have taken off of have been during the work week, which means I'm still working, and the weekend days have been my longest workouts. Needless to say, I had my own little melt down and took a few days off of work to rest. During this time, I really rested. I slept, I baked, and I walked Zion. I completely let down and let myself relax without anxiety or worry that I wasn't working out. That weekend I struggled but I did ride 5:25 hrs on Saturday and ran for 2:20 hrs on Sunday. That night marked the beginning of my taper. I was elated and my mindset started to look up. This past weekend felt like a breeze with only 3:30 hrs on the bike followed by a 45 min run on Saturday, with Sunday off.

As I look back, there is certainly more that I could have done, but I am happy with the long weekends that I've had and my overall consistency. I'm officially 21 days until the race and every day I'm getting more and more excited. I can't wait!