Rise Above

Have you ever been so engaged with the moment that little things like listening to a song you've heard a thousand times strikes you in a deeper way?

As I sit here tonight, breathing in life, I'm enchanted by the Stevie Nicks lyrics playing from pandora.

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm, mmm, mmm

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older and I'm getting older too

I'm thinking about love had, love lost and the love I never pursued. There was one who I met years ago in Jackson Hole who struck me as a Tom Sawyer type - happy, free, a true mountain man. He struck me as the type who I could never catch... always off on another exploit romping along the tops of mountains, catching fish in the streams, happily singing along on his guitar. His joy radiated outward so that everyone could see it. I thought he was perfect, but I never tried to gain his attention. Ironically he's now married and has a child. Not trying and now not knowing what could have been is one of my deepest regrets.

After Jackson Hole I spent years in Colorado on my own adventure. I climbed a mountain and I turned around. In my mind's eye I see all the beautiful places that I have been but I don't know if I ever truly appreciated them in the moment. Tonight, as I sit here in Boston, I imagine what my reflection really looked liked during that time.

When my last relationship brought me down, I left that beautiful place and came home to where I grew up. When I imagine my reflection I see myself paddling through the ocean tides and washing about in the seasons of my life, seamingly moving yet in the same place.

Now almost two years later, I'm asking myself can the child within my heart rise above?
Mmm, mmm, mmm

So dearly I want to go back to where it's beautiful and where my heart feels free, to the man who I thought was perfect. But I can't. I can't go back to that because it doesn't exist. And I am afraid of changing because Boston now I've built my life around you. But I have asked the child within my heart to rise above; to project light and happiness, to smile at those around me and to say hello to the passerby. I'm practicing and it's my turn to radiate a light that shines on everyone else. Time makes you bolder, and I'm getting stronger too.

So, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

...then breathe in life around. Listen to that song playing on pandora and enjoy those lyrics that connect you to the ground.

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm, mmm, mmm